on this day ten years ago:

on this day ten years ago:

"alright, lets talk about part one, chapter five." the professor said. "why the hell would georgie want to resolve to mutiny? anyone?"

to be perfectly honest, i never really loved burgess. neither my brilliant literature professor who has delusions of grandeur of being drinking buddies with hemingway. but i didnt know these things, also the fact that in the university i studied, one must keep to his mind rather than taking it to the ideals and exuberance of one's youth. to pass the course, you keep your mouth shut and be the audience that the professor would so love anyone in his class to be.

the girl in front of me immediately answered:
"because they(the droogs) feel that alex is at this fundamental tyrant role, and that he does the most sadistic things - deriving pleasure for no reason. and what better way to oust a would be tyrant than (insert yada-yada-talk-about the '86 people-power-revolution here...)."

the professor didnt bother turning to look at my classmate who appeared to read the lines from her notebook, presenting the thought that she was really listening to the discussion (while half the class is deer caught on a headlight gaze).

"did you take that crap off from sparknotes?" was the professor's lovely reply.

sinister bursts of laughter. it was at this point that i came to initially grasp that filipinos really take pride and happiness in the misery of others. i saw the poor classmate closed her notebook, and decided to play all ears until the end of the semester. desolate, dystopian. like the clockwork orange discussion that seemed to go on forever. i seriously felt at that moment, that this girl would probably loose a huge amount of self-esteem and confidence because of what happened today. i imagine the countless thought/ideals the professor killed/ridiculed in his lifetime only to prove him right, and the snide condescension that followed. little did he know that this girl, after dropping out second year, decided to work in a contact center, and became one of the first successful operations manager in the BPO industry. cross comparative of what she earns today with the professor? monumental.

the professor turned his sight on me. college confession: i didnt read the book. i just watched the movie. i really did thought that malcolm mcdowell was so cool. apart from that, the only thing i cared about was fixing my telecaster and the drinking session that followed afterclass.

"uhm sir i thought they want to take alex out, because they think he's different, probably because they think alex is arrogant." there goes my stupid answer.

prof: a very smart(mocking) answer! now did u also want to incorporate that with the political tone of the book-the evil of the government? because that wouldnt be so original.

me: not exactly sir. its society. previously we have been talking about duality and how this reality reveals itself a theme of downfall.

prof: expound.

i should have kept my mouth shut at this point.

me: sir i thought its simple. people would naturally want to bring you down if they think yer different. im sure every one of us has already noticed that - even in the most basic networks of social establishment. bureaucracy a fine example. the fellowship of friends another. i think burgess was playing with words, being a "droog" was just a name. an identifier. humanity always cling to this, false sense of belongingness, and i think its human nature. i think there's an alex to every single one of us, whos seriously not tryng to confirm. to do the radical. that maniacal, egotistic part of us we desperately battle with our superego - and we are forever paranoid, because there will be a time that it will surface, and just when we thought that we have our homies, our droogs - theyre the ones whos goin 'ta take us down.

prof: and you got this from the book?

me: no, i watched the movie.

sinister bursts of laughter. again. and i feel this time my fate's been sealed for good...he scribbled something from his notebook and mentioned something like:

prof: why am i not surprised. then i suggest you leave this classroom and enroll filmmaking. hows that for human nature?

there. another tragedy in the pages of my life practically because i refused to read the fine manual. and preferred stanley kubrick instead. but little did i know as my feet carried me out of the classroom those words i said had actually echoed deeply into the now. jai guru deva om.


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